i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize