Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
