Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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