I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Come on in and take your pants off
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