I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
