Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize