things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
