this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
