Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
