You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
