judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
