Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize