Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize