i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
