operation harelip BJ is a go
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
