do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
