I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
