So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
