Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
