alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
