Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
