At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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