Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
