So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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