I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
