Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
