im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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