i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
a search helicopter?!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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