just tell him i said nine months
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
