More tranny stories later!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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