I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think your dad took our porno
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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