she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
