Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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