Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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