and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
