he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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