Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize