Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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