that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
