Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize