Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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