I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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