it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize