Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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