S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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