pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
