Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
