Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
