Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
