the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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