You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
