I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
