i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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