How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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