So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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