it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
