Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize