you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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